Hello again, my old foe!

It's time.  I had a nice break. Two whole years, in fact!  And believe it or not, I weigh even less than I did when I tried to buddy up with Chalean and my lean sister machine.  However, my diet and exercise levels have been taken over by the demands of the grad school program where I'm currently serving time. (Truly, though, I spent all week in a windowless basement).

I've been looking for motivation a lot lately - it seems that school has taken it and hidden it and thrown out the key.  Lucky for me, I have a janitor-sized ring of keys and I may have just located one with a comparable fit.  We shall see. With a couple of friends for support - er, to topple/crumble/collapse on/with - we have decided to enroll in a six-week program entitled "Bootcamp."  Heh.  This particular program comes with a pre-planned diet, which, until shopping for it, I was pretty excited about!  I am not the biggest fan of planning my meals and figuring out what I need to get and have and prepare...so a calendar of meals and groceries I didn't have to think about seemed like a HUGE win.  But before you judge me for poo-pooing such an incredible gift, let me just mention that there were more than a handful of things on that shopping list I have NEVER heard of.  And I worked at grocery stores for almost three years!  I bought more vegetables in two - yes, two - hours of shopping than I have probably ever eaten.  I definitely had more damn tomatoes and cucumbers (two of my least favorite vegetables - formerly avoided at all costs) in my cart than I have consumed in a lifetime.  But the part that really punched me in the face was: no meat.  No chicken, no shrimp, no salmon, no nothin'! Definitely no beef.  I got news for this program: I am not signing up to become a vegan. I'm not.  I don't care how fit it makes me, I LIKE food.  I like food more than I hate exercise, so at some point, I will be in the market for a major compromise. 

This first week is "detox."  I have never done one of these before, and I'm not gonna lie - it's making me more than a little nervous.  I have my last week of clinic this week, and I feel like maybe I might need more energy than a liquid diet is going to provide.  I had to do some rearranging on this silly food calendar already, anyway, since I can't bring a blender to school, and I honestly don't have space in my refrigerator to store pre-made salad smoothies.  You should see my fridge.  I'll try to post a picture.  You know those little drawers at the bottom made for storing veggies?  Those are all I can afford to spare for loan to the roommate (who happens to be my sister, so don't feel too bad) to put normal food.  That thing is stuffed with $100 worth of leafy greens. $100!! And that is for ONE week...one week for ONE (relatively small) person.  If for no other reason, I cannot afford to keep up a diet like this! (There is, of course, the resounding reason of "I don't want to," as well)...  No, but really - I would like to start eating better. A lot better. And there is a handy recipe book with some dishes that look quite tasty (even more so, I'm sure, if I add CHICKEN)...which I'm likely to do after this week.  Part of this diet also includes giving up processed foods, alcohol, and the like.  I have no problem with most of these other demands.  And it requires water.  Lots and lots of water.  Water has been something I've been actively trying to increase on my own, anyway, but for a girl who only makes one or two - three tops! - bathroom trips a day, this first morning is off to a surprisingly uncomfortable start.  I've been awake for less than three hours and this class cannot end fast enough...holy water rushing, Batman!

Stay tuned for the tales of these tribulations! Workouts begin tonight.  I may or may not have energy to write again this fine evening.  Either way, I will try my best to chronicle as frequently as possible.  I apologize if some of my grad school griefs make it in here.  I'm in the process of wrapping up Year One. I should have an entire blog dedicated to that. SO much material, so little time.

Ridiculous

April 13, 2010

I would really just like to say that there is a perfectly legitimate reason for my lack of blogging this last – er, these last, two months…because I broke my leg and couldn’t exercise…but I can’t…because I didn’t break my leg. I broke something much, much worse! My willpower. It just snapped one day. I hit the snooze one morning and never looked back. Well, maybe I did. It appears the guilt never goes away completely, try as I did to make it. I did go on a hike or two, the first of which was a day or two after my last blog and truly did cause some non-exercisable pain. One form was physical – in the knee (for which I drew comfort in being excused from exercises for about a week); the other was in dignity, which I left no more than two miles from the start of the hike. I have to say, it left me in various bouts of comic relief for my fellow hikers (and myself) as I slipped and grappled with the mud/in the mud/through the mud…for hours…and hours…until we had to turn around due to snow and thunder, whereupon I repeated my self-inflicted mud-bashing. In fact, I brought so much mud back I wasn’t allowed to wear my clothes the same way I came in them for the ride home. Now, really, who doesn’t want a souvenir from a good trip?! Freaks…
So here I sit, finally not resembling a crack addict on her first day of sobriety – the shakes calmed quite a bit after my nice hot shower, although I think I could probably muster enough to simulate believable hypothermic shock symptoms. This is ridiculous. I’m going to eat some chocolate and go to bed.

Oops

Feb. 9, 2010

My alarm clock looked me straight in the eye today, and I gave right in to the snooze button. It really didn’t take much convincing. Hopefully, this is not the beginning of the end. I have been doing so well!! Right now, it is 3 p.m. and I am home from work, effectively putting this exercise off a bit more by trying to catch up on my blog entries. Productive and important, I know.

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I am an idiot. I just started my new week’s routine backwards. When the DVD was about halfway through, I realized it was a little too familiar for me to have watched it a whole week ago…which, it turns out, was completely true, since I had only just watched it on Saturday. But that’s not the worst part. I didn’t realize I actually did the wrong one until dinner, when I mentioned I did “Burn 3” today and Laura said, “Uhhh, you mean 1.”
Shoot! “Nope…Crap.”
Good thing I have tomorrow off again. Maybe my brain will relax this time, honestly recharge and get back on track on Thursday. Or maybe this is how my track is going to be. I love carnival rides!

Heaven

Feb. 8, 2010

Today, I slept in. And I didn’t have to pay for it later…nor did I have to pay for a delicious dinner at Olive Garden. (Thank you, Sarge!)
Ahh, bliss!
Maybe I did die on Friday after all…feels a little too much like Heaven…

Burnt out

Feb. 7, 2010

“Burn Off/Recharge” is a very mean misnomer. Here I was expecting to get a break from the other Burn days, but noooooo…that’s not what “Burn Off” means. “Burn Off” means burn off every single calorie you anticipate to eat today…and the rest of the week! Apparently, it’s the cardio workout. And apparently, my poor heart needs to pump like a broken water spigot. At 6:30 in the morning.
As for the “Recharge”? Forget it. Tomorrow, when I find myself unable to swing my legs over the edge of the bed, is what that is for.

Procrastination - 1, Me - 0

Feb. 6, 2010

Well, the organizer in me was really stoked about getting caught up on this blog…but the procrastinator in me just couldn’t keep it up. I immediately suffered intense writer’s block, which lasted at least three days... (I still don’t actually know whether my mind has been unblocked, but I’m going to go for it anyway - we'll see when this finally gets posted, I guess).
So, Saturday – er, today, was the last of the Burn sequences, “Burn 3.” Plus, I had the ab workout that I conveniently forgot to do yesterday. It wasn’t so bad. I mean, I was expecting the abs to be so much worse since I don’t really have any, but there were only a few exercises that were completely beyond my pitiful attempts.
Yay for "Recharge" tomorrow!

Good news, bad news

February 5, 2010

Good news: I’m alive. Yay! Half-bad news: I wouldn't haven't had any flowers at my service. It's cool, I didn't really want flowers, anyway. Real bad news: I accidentally skipped part of the killer workout.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – Accidentally, huh? Suuuuure. It’s true, though, I swear! The video I watched was already like, 45 minutes long! I thought surely, that was enough to endure for one morning. I didn’t figure out until later, while rehashing my morning in embarrassing detail to my new life coach, that I was supposed to have watched (and followed) two videos this morning. Whoops!! (Normally, I would feel bad about this under, well, honestly, no circumstances).
I suppose this means it’s tacked onto some other excruciating routine, now. Today’s was cardio. You think cardio, you think, Ooh! A nice break! I can do that! Yeah, no. Maybe it was just me that thought that… I put the DVD in and Chalean announced it was Cardio Day, and the relief that spread through me was indescribable. It was just a joke! I thought. Score! Yeah, score for team Lean Machine. That crap was hard! Yesterday my legs shook. Today, my arms nearly fell right off. Although, to be fair, my legs were already sore from the last two days, so I can’t really tell whether they hurt from today or not.
I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow and see what else I can’t move. Anyone wanna place bets? I’ve got $3 on my triceps. And biceps.